The Vita-mix is powerful, yes. But it’s true power has nothing to do with the specs of the motor (with all due respect to VM engineers).

1. I feel healthy all the time. Like, I’m-walking-through-tall-dewy-grass-with-shorts-on, kind of healthy.

2. I feel sexier. There, I said it. No one in a focus group would ever say that, I guarantee it. (Vita-mix, are you listening?)

3. I can be lazy. If I don’t feel like messing around with veggies at dinner time, I don’t. And it’s ok. The kids already drank them for breakfast. So don’t call Social Services.

4. I feel exotic. With items on my shopping list, like chia seeds and green algae. I really have no choice but to shop at Whole Foods. I secretly enjoyed asking loudly if the WF guy could please direct me to the cardamom pods, preferably in bulk.

5. Poetry. A shade of green every morning, so worthy of contemplation, that it brings me to poetic exhortations. It’s like a green sunrise. Or like breast milk from a plant.

6. Nothing needs to be measured! Just dump. (love that method)

7. No excuses. I don’t have an “if only” any more. There is no lack of something really expensive standing between me and my imaginary healthy self. Which also means no excuses, a bit of a downside.

8. I feel privileged. I’ve never really felt privileged in my life. But with 2+ horsepower sitting on my countertop, I feel officially “privileged.” Which makes me think I should donate to a charity for women’s rights, or even adopt a baby from a war ravaged country, perhaps.